Becoming Mormon

What a drastic turn my life has taken in just THREE short weeks!

And let me begin and state the obvious, Yes I have tattoos and I have lived a life apart from following Jesus Christ and I am aware of my mistakes and I have repented full heartedly and I vowed to keep the commandments of the Lord. I realize with all my heart every day that tattoos are outward scars of my unique journey to the Lord. We all have made mistakes and been sinful just my past mistakes are outwardly evident. I know through repentance my sins are forgiven and forgotten, just for me personally my tattoos are signs and scars of the path that led me to Heavenly Father.
Like my favorite blogger stated: "God does not see any of my tattoos. To him they are completely gone."
Just like everyone else who sins God does not see them once we change, repent, try, and turn to him. - Al Carraway

Although, I believe it all began in third grade when I met my sweet best friend Ashlyn, and I may not of known it then but her and her family would end up having the biggest impact on my life.
Let me just take a second to describe their family: they were the sweetest, most generous, happy, smiling, funny, and loving people I had ever met. Our beliefs were different and our paths even more so as we grew up but they never have judged me; only loved me. And the true genuine love I received from them was beautiful and I never felt uncomfortable or judged. Their love was leading me to the most amazing love I have today through Jesus Christ.
Fast forward a few years, as I grew I strayed drastically, and made some errors that would effect the rest of my life. Even through all these wrong turns, bad decisions, and hard times I had the support of my family as well as my best friend and her family.
Fast forward to around October of 2016, when I visited Utah for the first time. I went with my mother for Ashlyn's WEDDING! It was beautiful and I am so grateful to have been a brides maid. I knew that my appearance was different then most people that would be attending because of my tattoos, and my shaved head and I was nervous! Although, I was shocked to find nothing but love, support, and comfort in her family and friends at the wedding! I began to wonder why were they so happy and smiling most of the time? They had this joy that was so beautiful to see! I began to wonder how.
I went home and continued to live my life doing the things that my flesh desired, but every night I would google things about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I googled and read for about a week before I decided to just reach out to Ashlyn's mom and ask her about the church. I remember telling her I was interested, and her reaction was nothing short of joyful and accepting!

It was so sweet that she reacted in such a loving accepting manner, and I learned shortly after I would be loved and accepted by many including Jesus Christ.

So I believe the next day the missionaries called me, and we scheduled to meet that afternoon! That was also amazing to me that they are not people to hesitate in extending a hand and getting you the help and lessons needed!

I met with the missionaries that night in a families home! The family was so welcoming, and loving, and compassionate! I am a VERY nervous person but I felt so safe sitting in their living room! That day they introduced me to the Gospel and The Book of Mormon. I was so excited to read and learn, that night I read all of 1 Nephi!

The lessons continued and I learned more and more and asked many questions trying to understand the best I could. I had a very open mind and a very eager heart!

Before meeting with the missionaries I had previously stopped the bad actions and situations I was involving myself with cold turkey. I just stopped, and I wasn't too sure why but I knew the answer when I was asked If I would keep the commandments. It wasn't even a challenge I just whole heartedly gave up the sinful actions in my life to follow Jesus Christ.

The missionaries invited me to church, and to do things such as: read, repent, and pray! I struggled with repenting not because I wasn't sorrowful but because I was so aware of the way my actions had hurt Heavenly Father and I couldn't seem to forgive myself.

Things went on, the lessons and attending church continued. I was always so excited to go to dinner with families from the Ward or have lessons with the missionaries and the amazing family that opened their home to me! I always felt so safe and comforted in these surroundings and I learned that was the Holy Ghost.  

I logically understood the ways of the church and the Holy Ghost, but I never really had that "heart" moment until Saturday February 11, 2017 when I had the opportunity to hear from one of the twelve apostles Elder Oaks. I feel as if his message was meant for me. Many of my unspoken prayers were answered that night and I found comfort in Heavenly Father and KNEW that he forgave me, and had forgotten my transgressions because I had repented, and I too shall forgive myself.

"For behold, this is my church whosoever is baptized shall be baptized unto repentance. And whomsoever ye receive shall believe in my name; and him will I freely forgive." Mosiah 26:22.

I also for the first time finally understood the emotion people would show when bearing their testimonies, I felt the Holy Ghost. And to know after being baptized and receiving The Holy Ghost I will have the warmth forever.

The day following that purposeful Fireside I had a very eventful Sabbath Day and I made a conscious effort to give all my pain, confusion, nerves, and questions to Heavenly Father. It was a very busy day but all day I for the first time was constantly checking in with God, praying full heartedly about every question on my heart, and being more than open to receiving his answers and guidance! Heavenly Father answered many prayers that day helping me understand that I need to make him the center of life, and to actively seek after Jesus Christ. I received my first blessing that night by my missionaries and the amazing father of the family who had extended their hand to me. I can not explain how I felt because it is simply an unexplainable warmth and peace, and I feel to sacred to share.

Although, during my blessing it was said that If I could fall in love with the truth, and I feel like I already have and I cant wait for that love to grow. The whole week I prayed relentlessly for Heavenly Father to reveal his love to me, and it was revealed in ways I wasn't even aware could happen.

I can with my whole heart say that I know the church is true, and I am so grateful that it is and for Jesus Christ who died for our sins MY sins, and for the atonement and forgiveness through Jesus Christ, and for the Prophet Joseph Smith, and for the chance to be a part of the TRUE church the only church with the true and FULL knowledge for happiness and eternity.

I am so grateful for the works taking place in my heart through Jesus Christ, and I can not wait to be Baptized and fall in love with and seek Heavenly Father daily.